A divorced mother, Anna, 46, looked into the future and saw a time when her kids wouldn’t need her around quite as much—and she’d end up alone. Joining matefinder, which matches couples based on a detailed personality questionnaire, says Anna, “was my backup in case I didn’t meet anyone the ‘regular’ way.” It took six months of being matched with other eHarmony members before she met Sam. “His profile struck a chord—he was very spiritual, for one thing, which was important to me.” Those other matches had interested her, but fizzled once they got past initial communication. Not so with Sam—whom she agreed to make a date with after six weeks of emails and hour-long phone calls. The reality rattled her. “I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, this is a real man, not just an email!’” Panicked, she put the brakes on. For all of a week! Six months later, Anna and Sam were engaged; they got married in April 2010.
Lesson learned: Keep expectations low; it can take a while to find a match. Even with a system like eHarmony, whose detailed matching process saved her from “kissing a lot of frogs,” you still have to feel that chemistry.